Forty Nine

One year ago, 49 victims senselessly lost their lives after a shooting at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, FL. For me, that was just as much a  “where were you when the world stopped turning” moment as any. I was volunteering at a Special Olympics event the morning after, and could barely focus after reading the news. That feeling is replicating itself 365 days later.

I can’t substantially write today because my creativity is diminished by sadness. My motivation is overrun by anger. My voice is quieted by silence. I’m not going to try to be politically correct, or particularly eloquent. I can’t today.

 I tried to think of what I should do today. Rather, I tried to think of what I could do today to help or pay my respect to each and every one of the victims. A long post about gun violence? A monetary donation? It doesn't seem like enough. They were friends, and brothers, and lovers, and sisters, and parents. They were all of us. I wonder why it wasn't me. 

Instead of wondering, I am going to commit. I commit this beautiful pride month to honoring these 49 in the only way I possibly can: living authentically, loudly, and proudly. Pride month is special. These people deserved better. They deserved to be proud every June. This month I will smile a little bigger, hug a little stronger, and dance a little longer. I'm going to dance my ass off. 

If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, join me this month in doing the same. If you are an ally, support your friends with the emphatic, over-the-top, unconditional love that we all deserve. Take a step and then go one step more. Love the hell out of people today. We are all Orlando.

Waiting for it to be pride month makes no sense. Be proud of yourself and your friends. Love more this month. Be loud, y’all. They were perfect. You are too.