Off-Peak

Another corny Derek proverb rings in my ears: Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

I’ve written a lot about change and fear and being stuck in cement lately, and these feelings have finally come to fruition; a beautiful, messy, taken-too-long, poignant fruition.

Over 3.5 years ago, I packed up a UHaul and drove it from Wisconsin to the middle of Connecticut. I wasn’t allowed to go over 65 mph the entire time. I was terrified to say the least, not only about crashing all of my belongings but also the immensity of the move. It was growth and the unknown and the severity and the questioning. So much questioning of whether it was right or wrong. I’m 26 now and no longer describe myself as “college grad.” While I never pretend to have a hyper-developed sense of the world and navigating my 20s, I have learned more from instability than I ever thought possible. There is no right or wrong. There is just what is in front of you and what you do with it.

I have a bittersweet & shakey heart announcing that I will be leaving Indeed and moving to New York City and joining a new company, WalkMe. Beyond thrilled. Challenged. Proud. I am nervous and leaping for joy. I am prepared and clueless. Above all else, I know it is time. Everyone knows I have spent almost half my waking time in the empire state and I’m ready to move my bed an hour south. This is part lust and part pragmatism. In either case, a repetition is necessary: there is just what is in front of you and what you do with it.

Connecticut. *Insert sigh*

I have so many things I would like to say to you. You were my first big boy apartment. You were lonely. You were the perfect midpoint of the beautiful northeast. You were dark windowless lofts when my world crashed down. You were new friendships and countless laughs. You were thousands of dollars in the hands of Metro North. You were hundreds of miles run by the Sound. You were nights on Bedford & mind-numbing I-95 traffic. You showed me life, broke me, and then taught me how to stand. I moved for love, and found a home at Indeed.

Almost 3 years ago, in the midst of picking up broken glass, I found a home at a little-known website. To say that my personal/spiritual/social/physical/mental health changed for the better would be a disservice to every person I met along the way. Each person I have met in these three years: you have made an imprint on my life that will never be erased. The ripple effect of your kindness and camaraderie goes beyond emails and meetings and tickets. I am me because of you. You all have shown me goodness and hard work and the value of work-life balance. I will miss you all.

You didn’t cottle me. You made me pick myself up. I couldn’t point to you on a map 10 years ago and you now have a piece of me forever.

Thank you, Connecticut. New York, show me what you got.